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How to Email an Old Colleague After Years Apart
To reconnect with an ex colleague, send a short email that names a shared memory or something you noticed about their work. Say in one line why you're writing now. Ask for nothing, or for something small. The key: make it easy to reply. Note the gap without a long apology. Keep it under 120 words, and end with a light question they can answer in a minute.
Old colleagues are some of the warmest contacts you have. They saw how you work and remember the hard projects. They usually wish you well. But silence makes people hold back. The first email after years apart decides if the bond restarts or stays a name in your contacts.
What makes it land is detail. A real fact from your shared past or their recent work proves you're writing to them, not to a list. Add a clear, honest reason for writing now and an easy question. Most people will be glad you wrote.
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Free, no signup. The example is filled in: press the button, then replace it with your own situation. In Capstone, a message like it is written for each person you know when their check-in is due.
10 examples to copy
One message is easy. Hundreds of people, all year, is the hard part. Capstone Outreach puts everyone you know on a rhythm you pick, from weekly to every three months. When someone is due, a message like these is already written in your voice from your history with them. You approve it, and it goes from your own email or phone. See how it works.
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Everyone on a rhythm. Who is due, and when. Recorded in the app on a demo account.
1. After years of silence, no ask
Subject: A memory from our [Company] days
Why it works: A real shared memory and a clear note that there's no ask lower their guard. That makes it easy to reply.
2. They just got promoted or started a new role
Subject: Congrats on the new role, [Name]
Why it works: Congrats give you a natural reason to write. Tying them to work you saw firsthand makes the praise easy to believe.
3. Responding to something they posted or published
Subject: Your piece on [topic]
Why it works: Responding to one idea they shared shows real interest. It also gives them an easy, pleasant topic to reply about.
4. A mutual former colleague mentioned them
Subject: [Mutual Name] says hello (and so do I)
Why it works: A shared friend makes the timing feel natural. It also reminds them of a circle they already trust.
5. Thanking them for help early in your career
Subject: Something I never properly thanked you for
Why it works: Real, specific thanks is one of the most welcome emails anyone can get. And it asks nothing of them.
6. You'll be in their city soon
Subject: In [City] on [dates], coffee?
Why it works: A real visit gives a clear, timely reason to meet. The easy out keeps the pressure off.
7. Asking for a small piece of advice
Subject: Quick question for you, [Name]
Why it works: People like being asked for their know-how. A small, clear request is easy to say yes to.
8. Sharing your new venture or career move
Subject: Some news, and thinking of you
Why it works: Sharing the news as a personal update, not a pitch, puts the bond first. It also makes them curious.
9. You have an opportunity that might interest them
Subject: Thought of you for something
Why it works: Opening with a clear memory of their skill makes the offer feel personal, not like a mass email.
10. Owning that you let the connection slip
Subject: I owe you an email (a few years late)
Why it works: A brief, good-humored admission clears the awkward part in one line. Then it moves straight to warmth.
Sending these to more than a few people? See how people keep track of who to follow up with, and when: what a personal CRM does and the best personal CRMs, compared.
When to send it
- Send it within a few days of a natural reason. That could be their new role, a post they wrote, a friend who mentioned them, or a trip to their city.
- Reach out well before you need anything, weeks or months ahead of any ask. Then the note won't feel like a setup.
- Send on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday morning in their time zone. Inboxes are lighter, and people have time for personal notes.
- Avoid their known busy seasons. Think quarter end for salespeople, year-end giving for fundraisers or tax season for accountants.
- If you plan to ask for something, send the reconnect email first. Wait for a reply before you make the ask.
Subject lines
- A memory from our [Company] days
- It's been too long, [Name]
- Congrats on the new role
- Your post on [topic]
- [Mutual Name] says hello
- Something I never properly thanked you for
- In [City] next week, coffee?
- Quick question for you, [Name]
- Thought of you today
- Some news, and thinking of you
- I owe you an email (a few years late)
- Remember [shared project]?
- Hello from a former [Company] teammate
- Catching up after all these years
- Thought of you for something
What to avoid
- Don't open with a long apology for the silence. One light line is enough, or skip it.
- Don't make an ask in the first email after years apart, unless the ask is small and clearly optional.
- Don't send a bland note that could go to anyone. If you can't name one real detail, wait until you can.
- Don't write a long life update before you show any interest in them. Keep your news to a sentence or two.
- Don't send a reconnect note and a sales pitch together. It makes the reconnect look like an excuse.
- Don't use a vague subject line like "Hi" or "Hello" that reads like spam from a stranger.
After you send it
If you don't hear back in a week or two, send one short follow-up that adds something new. It could be an article they'd enjoy or a quick note about a shared contact. Then let it rest. Silence usually means busy, not unwelcome. Once they reply, suggest a call or coffee if it fits. After that, stay in touch every two to three months with something useful or personal. Send congrats, a helpful intro or a quick reaction to their work.
Building the habit: how to keep in touch with contacts and what a personal CRM does.
Reconnected. Now don't wait years again. Put your old colleague on a check-in every three months. When it is due, Capstone has a short note ready that picks up from your last talk.
Start 14 days free, then $25/mo
A study of 20 million LinkedIn members found that acquaintances, more than close friends, led to new jobs (Science, 2022). Capstone keeps those people warm. You approve every message, and it goes from your own email or phone.
Frequently asked questions
How do you start an email to an ex colleague after a long time?
Start with a real shared memory or a recent thing you noticed about their work. Here is one way to open. "I saw your new role at [Company] and thought of our late nights on the [project] launch" works well. This proves the email is personal. It gives them something real to respond to. Skip bland openers and long apologies for the gap.
Is it weird to email an old colleague out of the blue?
No, most people are pleased to hear from a former colleague, mainly when the message is warm and specific. It only feels weird when the email is vague or jumps straight to an ask. A clear reason for writing now makes it feel natural. That could be a promotion, a post or a shared contact.
Should I apologize for not keeping in touch?
A brief, light nod to the gap is fine, but don't dwell on it. One line like "I meant to stay in touch and then years went by" is plenty. Silence goes both ways. A long apology makes the email heavier than it needs to be. Move quickly to the memory or the reason you're writing.
Can I ask an old colleague for a favor in the first email?
You can if the ask is small, clearly optional and tied to their skills, like ten minutes of advice. Bigger asks include a referral, an intro or a donation. For those, reconnect first and have a real exchange. Then make the request in a later message so it doesn't feel like a trade.
What should the subject line be when reconnecting with an old colleague?
Use a subject line that is personal and easy to place. Try "A memory from our [Company] days" as one choice. "Congrats on the new role, [Name]" also works. Naming the shared company, a mutual contact or a real project helps them place you fast. It also keeps your email out of the ignore pile.
How long should a reconnecting email be?
Keep it between about 60 and 120 words. That's enough for a real memory, a one-line update about you, and a question for them. Longer emails feel like homework to answer. The goal of the first message is just to restart the talk. You don't need to cover everything since you last spoke.